Post by DarkDeityofDespair on Jan 11, 2013 23:57:34 GMT -5
Well...this has definitely been a hard 24 hours....the hardest I think I've ever had to go through...just making it through today was...incredibly difficult for me...
You may be wondering what I'm talking about right this moment...well let me fill you guys and girls in on the events of the past few hours...
Yesterday...around 8 P.M...my girlfriend Samantha finally messaged me for the first time that day...
Me, being the caring person I am, messaged her on Facebook...but there seemed to be something that was eating at her. Something she was hiding...I didn't really want to push it...but I wanted to know if she was okay...so I asked.
She responded that she didn't know if she was okay...so I asked her, wondering if maybe she wanted to talk to me about whatever was troubling her.
That's when everything...everything...went to the deepest depths of Hell.
This message appeared on my screen:
"Uhm...
So...
Please, please... Don't... Think this is because of you.
It's really not.
But uhm... I have a lot on my plate right now. I'm worrying about a lot and I'm really stressed out. And I just don't think I can handle a relationship on top of everything right now...
It's nothing you did!
I just... School now... College... Keeping my family going... Growing up in general... It's just all to much right now.
I'm really reeeaaallly sorry ._. "
My heart cracks into a million pieces...the tears fall slowly down, blazing their trails down my cheeks...and I find my breathing catching in my throat...I close my eyes, allowing the sobs to be heard out loud... my mom hears me and comes over, and for the first time in six months, I actually need her to hold me as I cried onto her shoulder, ignoring my laptop and just bawling...
My dreams...
My world...
My love...
My heart...
Everything seemed to lack meaning. To lack everything that made it what it was to me.
I felt broken.
I felt as if everything I had ever done had been thrown away.
Ditched by the side of the road.
Sent away...
I found my composure...somewhere deep inside of me...
And I wiped my tears...knowing she was worth each and every one.
I told her that I'd be there if she ever needed me.
I don't know what I might be getting myself into...but it's better to at least be friends than her not being in my life at all...or at least I hope.
Maybe things will work out.
Maybe we'll get back together.
Who knows?
It was better to love than to never have loved at all...that...is so true...
It was so hard seeing her beautiful face during school today...I almost broke down three times during the school day...and then another two after school....I just...can't stop thinking about her...no matter how hard I try...
So...my life's pretty much...depressing at the moment...maybe I'll find something to focus on and make me happy...I don't know....
I just don't know anymore...
I'll....I'll talk to you guys later...
~Cole
You may be wondering what I'm talking about right this moment...well let me fill you guys and girls in on the events of the past few hours...
Yesterday...around 8 P.M...my girlfriend Samantha finally messaged me for the first time that day...
Me, being the caring person I am, messaged her on Facebook...but there seemed to be something that was eating at her. Something she was hiding...I didn't really want to push it...but I wanted to know if she was okay...so I asked.
She responded that she didn't know if she was okay...so I asked her, wondering if maybe she wanted to talk to me about whatever was troubling her.
That's when everything...everything...went to the deepest depths of Hell.
This message appeared on my screen:
"Uhm...
So...
Please, please... Don't... Think this is because of you.
It's really not.
But uhm... I have a lot on my plate right now. I'm worrying about a lot and I'm really stressed out. And I just don't think I can handle a relationship on top of everything right now...
It's nothing you did!
I just... School now... College... Keeping my family going... Growing up in general... It's just all to much right now.
I'm really reeeaaallly sorry ._. "
My heart cracks into a million pieces...the tears fall slowly down, blazing their trails down my cheeks...and I find my breathing catching in my throat...I close my eyes, allowing the sobs to be heard out loud... my mom hears me and comes over, and for the first time in six months, I actually need her to hold me as I cried onto her shoulder, ignoring my laptop and just bawling...
My dreams...
My world...
My love...
My heart...
Everything seemed to lack meaning. To lack everything that made it what it was to me.
I felt broken.
I felt as if everything I had ever done had been thrown away.
Ditched by the side of the road.
Sent away...
I found my composure...somewhere deep inside of me...
And I wiped my tears...knowing she was worth each and every one.
I told her that I'd be there if she ever needed me.
I don't know what I might be getting myself into...but it's better to at least be friends than her not being in my life at all...or at least I hope.
Maybe things will work out.
Maybe we'll get back together.
Who knows?
It was better to love than to never have loved at all...that...is so true...
It was so hard seeing her beautiful face during school today...I almost broke down three times during the school day...and then another two after school....I just...can't stop thinking about her...no matter how hard I try...
So...my life's pretty much...depressing at the moment...maybe I'll find something to focus on and make me happy...I don't know....
I just don't know anymore...
I'll....I'll talk to you guys later...
~Cole